"If You Can't Love Yourself, How the Hell Are You Gonna Love Somebody Else?"
For extended portions of my adult life, I was celibate. For a period of about three or four years, while I was exploring becoming a Roman Catholic priest, this was part of an intentional program--I was "voluntarily celibate," or "volcel" to use the term that has become popular in the Discourse. But, for the rest of that period, I would have rather not been. So, most of my adult life has been spent as an "incel." Now, as it turns out, this is no longer true. And, truthfully, it is great . I would not go back to the way things were 18 months ago for any amount of money. But that is only tangentially related to actual sexual activity. Sex is fun and nice and makes me feel like I am desirable and powerful and that is wonderful. But far, far better is lying in bed, fully clothed, with someone I love in my arms, talking and laughing. If my choices were sex every night with a different woman and no sex but cuddling every night with the woman I love, I wo