13 Things That Make Me a Lousy Catholic
I stumbled upon a old post by Rachel Held Evans entitled "13 Things that Make Me a Lousy Evangelical." It is a nice mix of theological and cultural issues where she departs from standard conservative Christian talking points. Along the same lines, here are my 13 things that make me a bad Catholic, at least for certain values of "Catholic."
1. I find saying the Rosary to be extremely tedious, so I almost never do it.
2. I've read all of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body lectures. I think there are mostly incomprehensible, and the parts that are understandable are cartoonishly misogynistic.
3. I think priests and bishops who wear the old-fashioned clerical garb, like Cardinal Burke in this picture, look ridiculous. Plus, and I want to say this delicately, I think Liberace would find an outfit like this to be somewhat over the top.
4. I think Medjugorje is basically a scam. I have serious doubts about Fatima and maybe even Lourdes, too.
5. I am not sure John Paul II did more good than harm to the Church.
6. I am beginning to think that Christianity would be about 100 times better if we could build a time machine and send a nice Jewish psychotherapist back in time to help St. Augustine work through his issues with women and sex. It just seems so much more efficient than finding a nice Jewish psychotherapist for each of the hierarchy and a big chunk of the laity to work out their issues with sex.
6.1 While we are at it, maybe a visit to St. Paul would be a good idea.
7. I think Luther made some good points in his 95 Theses.
8. I find Confession to be almost entirely unpleasant and not particularly edifying spiritually. Face-to-face Confession is even worse.
9. I think that a majority of the priests I have encountered in my life would flunk Val Doner's high school Speech class, and couldn't preach their way out of a paper bag.
10. The pre-Vatican II Tridentine Mass bores me to tears and does nothing for me spiritually. If the Church went back to the Tridentine Mass in Latin all the time, I don't think I could continue to be Catholic.
11. If Opus Dei is not a cult, I think it is way, way too close to the line. Some of those other "lay movements" in the Church are pretty cult-like as well.
12. I think Bill Donohue needs to shut the f*** up. George Weigel and Robert George, too. And that Priests for Life guy--I think his name is Pavone. Basically, everyone on EWTN.
13. I've attended Episcopalian services where the presider was a woman. It didn't seem remotely weird or wrong to me. I even took Communion, even though I know I am not supposed to.
1. I find saying the Rosary to be extremely tedious, so I almost never do it.
2. I've read all of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body lectures. I think there are mostly incomprehensible, and the parts that are understandable are cartoonishly misogynistic.
3. I think priests and bishops who wear the old-fashioned clerical garb, like Cardinal Burke in this picture, look ridiculous. Plus, and I want to say this delicately, I think Liberace would find an outfit like this to be somewhat over the top.
4. I think Medjugorje is basically a scam. I have serious doubts about Fatima and maybe even Lourdes, too.
5. I am not sure John Paul II did more good than harm to the Church.
6. I am beginning to think that Christianity would be about 100 times better if we could build a time machine and send a nice Jewish psychotherapist back in time to help St. Augustine work through his issues with women and sex. It just seems so much more efficient than finding a nice Jewish psychotherapist for each of the hierarchy and a big chunk of the laity to work out their issues with sex.
6.1 While we are at it, maybe a visit to St. Paul would be a good idea.
7. I think Luther made some good points in his 95 Theses.
8. I find Confession to be almost entirely unpleasant and not particularly edifying spiritually. Face-to-face Confession is even worse.
9. I think that a majority of the priests I have encountered in my life would flunk Val Doner's high school Speech class, and couldn't preach their way out of a paper bag.
10. The pre-Vatican II Tridentine Mass bores me to tears and does nothing for me spiritually. If the Church went back to the Tridentine Mass in Latin all the time, I don't think I could continue to be Catholic.
11. If Opus Dei is not a cult, I think it is way, way too close to the line. Some of those other "lay movements" in the Church are pretty cult-like as well.
12. I think Bill Donohue needs to shut the f*** up. George Weigel and Robert George, too. And that Priests for Life guy--I think his name is Pavone. Basically, everyone on EWTN.
13. I've attended Episcopalian services where the presider was a woman. It didn't seem remotely weird or wrong to me. I even took Communion, even though I know I am not supposed to.
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