A Sound of Sheer Silence

There is a lot of talk about "owning your privilege."  Allow me to make an attempt at owning mine. One of the things about my life that I am increasingly aware is very unusual for a straight man of my age is that I have a handful of very close, very deep male friendships.  There are three or four (depending on the circumstances) people that I have known for a very long time (20+ years) and with whom I feel comfortable sharing personal things--struggles, fears, losses, disappointments.  And these people have shared similar things in their lives with me. This has been an enormous blessing in my life, one of the top two or three blessings that I have received.  But it has one notable downside, and has created a notable blindspot.  Because I know these guys so well, and so intimately, they form the baseline for what I think men as a whole are like.  Or, more accurately, they form a sample set from which I extrapolate my back-of-the-envelope estimates of what the male populati

Lots of people have said lots of better and smarter things about #metoo, particularly in light of the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings ( most recent update here , though this story is evolving at warp speed), than I can.  I have never been assaulted, so I cannot speak to the experience.  I have, however, noticed a couple of things out there in the discussion that I think are worth commenting on. 1. "Beyond a Reasonable Doubt" and "Innocent Until Proven Guilty."   Lawyers, and people who like to sound like lawyers, often try to gaslight people who are concerned about an accusation against someone by saying things like "people are innocent until proven guilty!" and "where is your proof beyond a reasonable doubt?"  The idea here, of course, is that you are a bad person for "immediately assuming" that a person is guilty of whatever they are accused of, whereas the speaker is a reasoned and broad-minded and fair person.  This is nonse

I would like to talk about Union Seminary and their Twitter feed , but first I need to talk a bit about Bizarro. Bizarro is a traditional antagonist for Superman in the comics and related media.  Comics are notorious for rebooting their backstories and continuities, so this may not be the current story behind Bizarro, but the one I am familiar with involved Superman getting shot with some sort of duplication ray.  But the ray didn't actually create a clone of Superman, but instead a kind of mirror image of Superman (so, for example, Bizarro shoots cold beams out of his eyes as opposed to heat beams, is vulnerable to the kinds of kryptonite that heals Superman while being healed by the kinds that wound Superman, etc.)  Eventually, Bizarro leaves Earth and creates Bizarro World, whose founding principle is to be precisely the opposite of everything on Earth, so everything that is considered good on Earth is bad in Bizarro World, and vice versa.  So, on Bizarro World, Bizarro is eve

Last night, I became a novice in a brand new religious community of the Episcopal Church, the Community of Mary, Mother of the Redeemer (CMMR).  You can see some pictures of it on our Facebook page --I'm the shorter guy second from the left.  The day before that, the Founders of our community took their first vows, meaning that CMMR has been officially in existence for a grand total of two days.  Still, we have been working on this and praying about it for a while now, and so I figured it was time to talk a bit about this new thing I am a part of and how I understand what I am doing. If there is a Big Idea that shapes the project of CMMR, it comes from Psalm 137: By the rivers of Babylon—    there we sat down and there we wept    when we remembered Zion.  On the willows there    we hung up our harps.  For there our captors    asked us for songs, and our tormentors asked for mirth, saying,    ‘Sing us one of the songs of Zion!’  How could we sing the Lord’s song    in